SHOW NOTES
About the Guest
Darryll Stinson is a former Division I athlete, two-time TEDx speaker, leadership coach, and storytelling mentor who helps people bring their raw, authentic stories to the world with courage and impact. Through his work, Darryll helps others reconnect with purpose, take ownership of their story, and use what they have lived through to lead and serve more powerfully.
Episode Summary
Darryll Stinson joins Jen Aks for a raw and deeply moving conversation about purpose, faith, identity, addiction, depression, surrender, and the courage to stop running from the voice within.
Darryll shares how a powerful spiritual experience at nine years old gave him a glimpse of the influence he was called to have, but also terrified him. As he grew older, painful experiences in church, bullying, identity struggles, street life, injury, addiction, and the pressure to perform pulled him further away from the person he knew he was meant to become.
He opens up about using achievement, football, drugs, busyness, and external validation to avoid stillness, because becoming still meant hearing the voice he had been trying to ignore. After losing football, his relationship, his physical health, and his sense of identity, Darryll reached a breaking point that led to a psychiatric hospital stay.
It was there, after years of resistance, that he finally surrendered and said yes to the calling he first felt as a child.
Together, Jen and Darryll explore how purpose speaks through desire, why people numb themselves when they are misaligned, the difference between pain that shapes us and trauma that may not be necessary, and why reclaiming your power begins with taking responsibility for your life and story.
This episode is a powerful reminder that the voice within does not disappear when we ignore it. It waits for us to stop running, listen, and choose differently.
What You’ll Learn
• How Darryll first experienced a clear sense of spiritual calling at nine years old
• Why that early vision made him feel both deeply loved and deeply afraid
• How betrayal, disappointment, bullying, and identity struggles caused him to distance himself from faith and purpose
• Why misalignment often leads people to numb themselves through busyness, achievement, substances, and distraction
• How football became both an identity and a way to avoid the deeper questions inside him
• What happened when injury, addiction, and the collapse of his athletic identity left him with nowhere left to run
• The moment inside a psychiatric hospital when Darryll finally surrendered
• How he recognized speaking and communication as part of his calling
• Why he left the security of a university career to create space for purpose-driven work
• The difference between God’s perfect will and permissive will in Darryll’s view
• Why taking responsibility for your story is not the same as feeling shame about it
• How owning your choices can help you reclaim power and create a healthier future
Key Concepts Introduced
• The Voice Within — the inner knowing, spiritual guidance, or deeply felt truth that continues to speak even when we try to suppress it
• Misalignment and Numbing — Darryll’s belief that when we are disconnected from purpose, we often need more distraction, performance, substances, or busyness to avoid hearing what we already know
• Performance as Identity — using achievement, athletics, success, or approval to prove worth and avoid deeper questions about identity
• Surrender — the moment Darryll stopped demanding to understand how everything would work and simply chose to say yes
• Purpose Through Desire — the idea that calling is often encoded in the desires, visions, and longings that continue to return
• Golden Handcuffs — the salary, benefits, security, and comfort that can keep someone in a life that no longer feels aligned
• Perfect Will and Permissive Will — Darryll’s framework for the difference between the healthiest path available and the paths people are still allowed to choose and learn through
• Redeeming the Story — allowing painful experiences to become sources of service, compassion, leadership, and wisdom without pretending the pain was required
• Personal Responsibility — reclaiming power by recognizing where you chose to hide, compromise, numb, or abandon yourself
Quotes From This Episode
“When we’re misaligned from our purpose, we have to ignore the voice within.”
“If I got still, I’d have to listen.”
“You know who you are. You know you’re better than this. You know why you’re here to lead.”
“I was running from that voice, and I finally surrendered.”
“When my heart and soul says yes, everything in my life works.”
“Life is hollow if you’re not fully aligned.”
“I don’t have shame in my story when I realize I have the power to create over it.”
“I realized I was this higher-power being who chose a lesser-quality experience.”
“I’m trying to give people their power to choose a higher-quality experience.”
CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Opening: Running From the Voice Within
Jen introduces Darryll’s story as a raw example of what happens when someone spends years avoiding the truth of who they are meant to be.
00:38 A Spiritual Calling at Nine Years Old
Darryll remembers hearing God’s voice during an altar call and seeing a vision of himself influencing thousands of people.
02:45 Losing Trust and Losing Belonging
Painful experiences in church, bullying, identity struggles, and feeling like he did not fit begin pulling Darryll away from faith and purpose.
04:00 Running From Purpose and Identity
Street life, drugs, fighting, and athletic performance become ways to fit in and avoid the voice that keeps calling him back.
05:17 If He Got Still, He Would Have to Listen
Darryll explains how busyness, working out, hustling, and constant movement helped him avoid facing what he already knew.
06:17 Football, Injury & Performance as Identity
After a serious injury, Darryll refuses to let go of football and begins suppressing pain to preserve the identity he believes gives him value.
08:16 Addiction, Depression & Losing the Facade
The physical consequences of opioids, injury, and overperformance become impossible to hide, and Darryll is eventually removed from the team.
09:00 Hitting Rock Bottom
Without football or structure, Darryll turns further toward drugs and numbing while the inner voice continues telling him he is meant for more.
10:18 The Psychiatric Hospital
After severe depression, attempts to end his life, physical decline, and the loss of his relationship, Darryll enters psychiatric care.
12:15 The Woman in Green Pants
A stranger enters the room, holds Darryll, and tells him that God is asking him to say yes.
13:22 Two People, the Same Message
Darryll’s grandmother arrives soon after and delivers the same message, forcing him to confront what he has spent years resisting.
14:00 The Moment He Finally Said Yes
In the middle of the hospital, Darryll surrenders and experiences a return to the calling he first felt at nine years old.
16:11 Discovering His Calling as a Speaker
Darryll begins asking what comes next and recognizes that speaking, leadership, and communication are central to his purpose.
18:00 Training for the Calling
He returns to school, studies public speaking again, begins teaching communication, and starts developing the skills he once avoided.
20:00 Leaving Security for Purpose
Darryll realizes he needs more freedom to mentor and coach, so he leaves a stable university career and accepts a lower-paying role to create space for the work.
22:00 Why So Many People Ignore Their Inner Voice
Jen and Darryll reflect on the fear, comfort, security, conditioning, and external validation that keep people disconnected from what they know.
24:17 Perfect Will, Permissive Will & the Paths We Choose
Darryll explains why he believes painful choices can still be redeemed, while also believing there may have been healthier ways to develop the same gifts.
26:53 Can We Build Strength Without Trauma?
Jen and Darryll explore whether grit, compassion, and depth require suffering, or whether people can be guided toward strength without unnecessary trauma.
28:58 Interrupting the Story Before the Pain
Darryll describes speaking and teaching as ways to help people recognize what they can change before life forces the lesson through pain.
29:38 Taking Responsibility for Your Life and Story
Darryll explains how reclaiming his power began when he stopped seeing himself only as someone life happened to and started owning the choices he had made.
30:21 Closing: Own It, Learn From It, and Serve
Jen and Darryll find common ground in responsibility, healing, and using the wisdom gained from experience to serve others.
CONNECT WITH DARRYLL STINSON
Website: Darryll Stinson
Instagram: @stinsonspeaks
YouTube: Darryll Stinson
Facebook: @stinsonspeaks
If this episode moved you, share it with someone who needs to hear that the transformation period is supposed to be hard — and that asking for help is not weakness. It’s the sign.
