JEN AKS 0:00
Welcome to the Wisdom From Within podcast. My name is Jen Aks and I am your host. This is where mindset meets bodyset, where we access both so that we can make the most genuine, authentic, empowered impact on those we love and those we serve. Let’s get started.
JEN AKS 0:32
Yes. Hello, Jen Oliver. Oh my god. That music, by the way, that music is the music that was created for the TEDx stage that you create, that you support, that you beautify.
JEN AKS 0:53
And I came to it and had the honor and privilege in August. And that music, because I wanted to dance, remember? And I had that music created. So I didn’t even think about that connection until right now when that started playing because it’s just so perfect.
Oh my gosh.
JEN OLIVER 1:07
Perfect.
JEN AKS 1:07
Hi, friend.
JEN OLIVER 1:08
What a delight. Congrats on this killer new platform. Of course you’re doing this. It’s needed and it’s a gift.
Yay.
JEN AKS 1:18
Yay. Well, yay, you, yay, us, yay to our new friendship over the last year and a half or so, right? Year.
JEN OLIVER 1:27
Yeah.
JEN AKS 1:27
It has been incredible. Jen Oliver, you are amazing and have become such an inspiration and partner and example for me in my work and my mission. And I’m so grateful to you. So I’m going to celebrate you right now by telling all of you that are listening how excited I am to welcome this woman who is a speaker and communications coach, dedicated with all of her heart in helping women speak from a place of authenticity and power.
And after experiencing firsthand the exhaustion of people pleasing and silencing her own voice, Jen made it her mission to help other women communicate with clarity and confidence and courage. Through her highly, highly connective and customized approach, Jen teaches women how to communicate real in ways that are relational, engaging, authentic, and life altering. Her coaching goes beyond stage presence, equipping clients with practical tools to speak their impact with impact in every aspect of their life from high-stakes presentations to meaningful personal conversations. And I can absolutely say check, check, check, check, check to every single thing.
You are incredible. Thank you for being here.
JEN OLIVER 2:59
I love it. I’m so about this work. And I can’t wait to have this conversation. Me so forward to it.
JEN AKS 3:06
I really would love for you to share your journey into your presence and your leadership in this work as a woman in the world, what you have gone through to get here. And specifically through the lens of, you know, the body leading. And when did you listen? And when didn’t you listen?
And when were you off track? And like in really empowering the audience with this inspirational story of there’s hope. We can all get there. So how did you do it?
JEN OLIVER 3:40
Okay.
JEN AKS 3:41
Yeah, that’s a lot.
JEN OLIVER 3:43
I’m here for it. So you know this, Jen, and I think a lot of people do this notion that we are called to the very work we need ourselves. And without a doubt, that was me. Here I am coaching speakers and coaching women, especially.
And so much about finding our truest voice. That’s what I do with people, is getting embodied and getting into our body and getting out of this chatter in our head. And yet I was the furthest from that. I was so disconnected from my body.
I didn’t even notice it, let alone that it was giving me cues, incredible sense of intuition and instinct, uh feeding me all kinds of knowledge and understanding. But I just wasn’t even tapped in until recent years because it was something I needed to teach. And then I went, oh, this is exactly what I need to be doing so that I can better coach it. And I would say the way let me give by way of my personal examples and some relational things in my life, because why not?
This is what you and I do. We go right in.
JEN AKS 4:54
We go real, girl.
JEN OLIVER 4:56
We go real. And I can tell you now looking back as someone who in my relationships would enter a romantic relationship, and my body, now in hindsight, I can see it, right? Nope, this isn’t quite right for you. Nope.
And I would hit override. And I know so many people relate to this. So many of us do this. Override, override, override.
And so therefore, then I’d get into a relationship, and then I was not always showing up as my true self. I would just keep muting, muting, muting. And I’m a very extroverted, powerful, I’ve got a lot to say. I have, I’m wise, I’m bright, I’m a big light.
But I was shrinking certain things and certainly not speaking to what was true for me. And so doing this work over the last number of years of really getting connected to my body, you’ve been a part of that. Getting connected to my body, listening to her, understanding what it is she’s saying and using that as information, data, wisdom, and then following that, speaking from that place has changed everything in my life. I and I am not overstating when I say that, really.
It has changed everything about the way I feel, the way I relate to people, the relationships I have now, how my work is brought into the world, you name it.
JEN AKS 6:22
How?
JEN OLIVER 6:23
I mean, I can go into all the how, yeah.
JEN AKS 6:25
Yeah, like how did you start listening? How did you even make that? How’d you cross that bridge?
JEN OLIVER 6:30
Okay. First, I was trying to be more connected to my body and notice what it was feeling.
JEN AKS 6:37
Okay.
JEN OLIVER 6:37
And then rather than muscle that into submission and go, that’s something to be tamed or moved. It was like, oh no, what if I could be curious? I always used to say, I want to sit at the feet of my feelings and emotions, not because I’m ruled by them per se, but because there’s information and data there. Right.
There’s there’s I’m being told something, and why not sit there for a minute with it instead of what I used to do, which was ignore it, push it away, rationalize it, numb it. Oh God, numb it for sure.
JEN AKS 7:11
Yeah.
JEN OLIVER 7:12
And uh I just started listening to it and allowing myself to feel the things and then going, oh, this is interesting. Okay, if I’m feeling this, first of all, it didn’t kill me. I didn’t die from feeling those feelings. Oh, and in fact, wow, look what that just opened up to me.
And then I did something really recently, Jen, which I don’t even know if you and I have talked about this year for 2026. I’ve taken it a total leap forward. And I took this integrity pledge to myself that I would have a year of telling no lies, which on its face, I mean, I think most of us think of ourselves as truth tellers, right?
[FIRE ALARM ANNOUNCEMENT 7:51]
Right.
JEN OLIVER 7:52
Not a liar, but lying is saying yes to something that’s a no.
[FIRE ALARM ANNOUNCEMENT 7:56]
Oh, yeah, lying.
JEN OLIVER 7:58
I love that sugarcoating when you really don’t want to say what’s true because you want the other person to feel better.
JEN AKS 8:06
Hold on one quick second.
JEN OLIVER 8:08
Yeah, this is kind of exciting.
JEN AKS 8:10
Okay, go ahead.
JEN OLIVER 8:14
Lying is all of those different things, right? And so I thought, ooh, I really want to listen more accurately because I know that my truth lies in my body. I don’t even like the word lies there because it sounds like contradictory. My truth is my body inhabits my truth, my truth inhabits in my body, as opposed to the mind, which is ego, personality, all my protective mechanisms, you know, the various voices that influenced us that may not even have been my voices in the first place.
Suddenly, when I go, I really want to hear what’s true. I want to get in touch with the collective, my divine higher wisdom, my essential self. And there is where the truthiest of truths will reside. And then I can speak from that place.
I’m not kidding you. We’re only what here, a few months into 2026. It is radically changing me. Radically.
JEN AKS 9:14
Wow. Okay, we’re gonna pause for a quick second because this crazy fucking alarm is going off.
JEN OLIVER 9:19
I love this.
JEN AKS 9:20
Do you hear this?
JEN OLIVER 9:20
This is for your blooper reel. Tell me you’re gonna do a blooper reel. Let’s just get up and dance to it.
JEN AKS 9:26
Yeah, it’s okay, Sophie. My dog is like freaking out.
JEN OLIVER 9:31
Oh god, it’s okay.
JEN AKS 9:32
Oh my god, Sophie. She’s like wait, hold on one second. Yeah.
JEN OLIVER 9:40
I can’t make this happen. Real life people, I’m eating an apple. I know Sophie, you gotta get in on this.
[FIRE ALARM ANNOUNCEMENT 9:55]
Do not use the elevators.
JEN AKS 9:57
Do you hear this shit? Wait, am I supposed to leave the building?
JEN OLIVER 10:04
No, because it was a test. They warned you it was a test, right?
JEN AKS 10:09
They did.
JEN OLIVER 10:10
Oh, then you don’t have to leave the building. Dude, do you live in like the Hilton? What is happening?
[FIRE ALARM ANNOUNCEMENT 10:18]
Emergency recorded in the building.
JEN AKS 10:20
Wait, is this a fucking joke?
JEN OLIVER 10:23
No, this is what they promised you was gonna happen because they said it was a test. They said it was a test, but this is the pre-recorded. There’s not a real emergency.
JEN AKS 10:34
Okay.
JEN OLIVER 10:35
My dog.
JEN AKS 10:35
Okay, underneath my feet. I’m so fucking sorry. When the fuck is this gonna end?
JEN OLIVER 10:40
I don’t know, but I love this, and this is gonna make the best part of your podcast.
[FIRE ALARM ANNOUNCEMENT 10:51]
Please evacuate the building by the nearest exit. Okay, where do you live?
JEN AKS 10:59
You literally have where do I live? I live in Yankas. I live, I I live like okay, so there are these river towns, yeah, and uh, they’re beautiful. And I lived in Dobbs Ferry for four years, and now I live on right on your attention, please.
JEN OLIVER 11:14
Oh, you have our attention, baby.
[FIRE ALARM ANNOUNCEMENT 11:17]
Giddy uh emergency recorded in the building.
JEN OLIVER 11:24
You have to you have to save this and record this podcast ever. Like, if we’re not real, what are we even doing? Let’s make some gestures that reference what’s happening here. Emergency, emergency.
[FIRE ALARM ANNOUNCEMENT 11:41]
May I have your attention, please?
JEN OLIVER 11:43
You have it!
[FIRE ALARM ANNOUNCEMENT 11:44]
May I have there has been a fire emergency report.
JEN AKS 11:50
How long is this going on? I have a podcast here. Okay, I love this so much. I am literally crying.
I am Oh my god.
JEN OLIVER 12:08
I wish they had I wish they had like a video of the people who maybe didn’t know it was an emergency who are like running out of the building right now. Like, can you even see?
JEN AKS 12:16
Oh my god, no, because emergency reported in the building. Okay, let me look. Hold on. Make sure there’s action.
You can’t make this up. Oh, for God’s sake. Okay. I think my dog is about to like have a fucking heart attack.
I don’t blame your dog because this is terrible for their soul, isn’t it?
JEN OLIVER 12:42
Oh god, this is yes.
JEN AKS 12:44
Is this like is this is this is this? I don’t even know. I mean, she’s she’s not like turned upside down and her eyes aren’t going behind her head or anything, but she is shaking. Yes, of course she is.
So honey, it’s okay. Mama’s there, mama’s there, baby. Have your attention, please. Yes, you can have it.
I want to get back to this video. I know we’re really getting into it. Wait a minute. I might need to reschedule.
JEN OLIVER 13:16
Don’t worry. Oh my gosh, and I broke up in my my relationship um just on Valentine’s Day. So that’s like fresh too. Because girl, I listened to my truth, I listened to my body.
JEN AKS 13:27
Like wait, are you okay if I put this on the podcast?
JEN OLIVER 13:30
Oh, of course. You can put anything.
JEN AKS 13:33
Talk about that. I’m gonna put this on mute right now.
JEN OLIVER 13:36
Yeah, okay. We’re we we interrupt this regularly scheduled programming of fire alarms. Okay, if she cuts that out, you guys, there was a fire alarm. Anyway, because Jen Aks lives in like the four seasons or something, and this is how this is the the alerts they get in their hallways.
Okay, okay, so what I was saying was I even had this recently, which it was it was a hard but beautiful experience. So just recently, in the last few weeks, I was in a relationship, a dating relationship with a wonderful man, and we’ve been seeing each other for like five months. And suffice to say, I’m not gonna go into all the gory details, but there was a moment where we were having a conversation over Valentine’s weekend. I mean, like nothing, I did not see an end to our relationship coming at all.
Um, there’s been so much that’s been wonderful, but at the same time, throughout our relationship, I was struggling with being exclusive. I was struggling with us being um so focused on an on one another, even though I was liking that instinctively I knew I’m supposed to stay very open, and my view of love is so expansive right now. I was not meant to be in an exclusive kind of lockdown monogamous relationship. And that’s been a big part of my journey this last few years.
After someone who’s been monogamous and married for like 35 years between my two marriages, which is a whole other story. Um, I just recognized because both of those relationships, I went into ignoring my bodily cues. And there was a price to pay for that for them and for me. And so I was so determined this last year to not again go into my old patterns of turning whoever I’m dating, hitting override and making them my next all-in-all, my next life partner.
Like, here we go, right off into the sunset till we die. I really wanted to date amazing, beautiful souls and learn about myself, learn about them in a very ethical way. So I was I I was labeling myself an ethical non-monogamist or a consensual non-monogamist, which just is a fancy way of saying I’m dating people, I may even date someone very consistently, but I’m very upfront about the fact that I may date others too, and that that’s going to be a completely transparent thing, it’s never going to be hidden.
JEN AKS 16:11
Okay, that’s amazing. Yeah. To be able to do that and execute that, that’s that’s incredible.
JEN OLIVER 16:17
Yeah, really and a major stretch for me because that’s a it’s a totally different mindset. Culturally, it’s even a different thing, it’s not the typical thing. If you come from any kind of religious faith practice, as I did, that is completely anathema to what’s right and good. That’s like sin.
So I had a lot of neural unwiring to do around my view of love, my view of dating, my view of romance, partnership. And so this has been a part of that journey. But he and I were seeing each other and getting more serious, and really um, a lot of it was great and and and it was just becoming a lot more exclusive. And then I realized in um, and I was struggling all along, but I said, you know, I really do want to give this a go at being just exclusive you and I because he was really wanting that.
Right. And then over the last month, I was recognizing, no, I I know I still need to remain open. I still want to see him, but I need to remain open. I just had this sense, but I didn’t want to be that woman who’s like, Oh, yeah, I’m dating you, but my head’s on a swivel for the next best thing, so that when that one something better comes along, I’m tossing you.
Like that just felt shitty and disingenuous. And I committed to a year of truth telling.
JEN AKS 17:38
Yeah.
JEN OLIVER 17:38
So what is right?
JEN AKS 17:40
Exactly.
JEN OLIVER 17:41
So I we we I we have always had a very open, vulnerable, beautiful exchanges. We get very truthful and honest with each other. It’s one of the best things about our relationship that I found so attractive was we could go there and talk about anything, right? And so we did that on Valentine’s, and I just said I want to approach this, especially you and I both have major travel coming up over the next six months.
We’re gonna be apart a lot. Let’s talk about how this could look. And he it was a no for him. He was like, Absolutely not, it’s a line in the sand for me.
I want monogamy, and he deserves that. That is his truth, right? His truth is I want to be, he deserves to be what loved well and to love well in a monogamous relationship because that is his what he is wanting. Right.
I deserve my truth, is I want something more expansive, I want something that is who knows what’s possible, and whom I’m called to love, and I’m calling in something different. I truly don’t know. I just feel it in my body, to your point. I feel a bigness and expansiveness happening in me that I can’t explain.
And I want to stay so open and malleable and not going into my old patterns and hitting override. And so I needed to be truthful with him, and it ended the relationship very abruptly. Um, and it was, you know, that was sad for a minute for me, but then I also recognized he deserves what he deserves, and I deserve what I deserve, and it’s so okay, and it was beautiful for the five months we had, it was great.
JEN AKS 19:22
Wow, yeah, okay, okay. So that is that is so brave, that is so courageous because it goes against what society defines as successful in terms of relationship. And so I’m really curious to go back before that crazy fire alarm started. Um, because you were mentioning that you were someone who was disconnected from that truth, from that voice.
And then you started talking about how you came into alignment, you were listening to the voice, and it led you to this work. The gap is, and what I’m curious about, the void, is how did you make that shift? Like, how did you even know that the body was intelligent enough to guide you in your life into a your purpose with what you’re doing now, but B making very tough, courageous decisions, like you just explained?
JEN OLIVER 20:12
Okay, so a couple things. First of all, I was trained in this work as a speaking coach. Casey Baker is one person who’s a mentor to me, a number of others, where I was seeing that the clear indicator and clear path for a strong speaker, a strong communicator is someone who’s embodied. So as I knew that, I was teaching it and I was little by little employing it in my own life.
JEN AKS 20:41
Okay, because that’s that’s important because earlier when you were talking about, you know, you were disconnected, but then you were teaching it like the speaking, and I was like thinking, how wait, where was that bridge? Like, so you started learning about embodied speaking, and you were like, wait, I’ve got to do this for myself before I like got it. Okay, gotcha.
JEN OLIVER 21:03
Yeah, because honestly, if if we’re a strong presence embodied communicator in all areas of our life, that’s going to eventually eke out onto the stage, too. If someone takes a stage, not everyone’s going to take a stage or get on a podcast, but boy, if they’re already showing up as that type of person and communicator and speaking from that place, even if it’s in an intimate conversation in their bedroom, let alone on a stage. I mean, it shows up everywhere. So we want to be that more whole person in any exchange, right?
One person or 5,000. Okay. But then the second part was trial by error. And and I was seeing and willing to look back over my life and look back over, you know, my marriages that had ended, look back over my relationships with other people, my kids, my family.
And I was starting to look for and doing the work and repair. I was seeing where things faltered, where I denied my truth, where I entered a relationship I had no business in. And as I started breaking those down to really understand them so I could grow and shift and be different moving forward, I saw over and over the breakdown of my body was telling me, oh my gosh, I now remember that feeling in the pit of my stomach on the first date with my second husband. And I knew a good man.
And someone asked me, Oh, so you think this is the one? Because I decided he was the one that I would marry after six days of texting after meeting him on match. Okay, that’s problematic right there. Then I went to meet him for a first date to simply confirm that we could see each other in person.
And yes, indeed, we’re meant to be married. That’s crazy talk, even right there. But oh my god, besides that, I remember knowing it in my body and then leaving the date. My best friend called.
She goes, Well, and I go, Yep, he’s the one. And I remember, I remember the feeling of hitting override.
JEN AKS 23:04
Wow.
JEN OLIVER 23:04
And I felt it. I felt it in my whole sacral. Like now I know. Oh, I feel this in my body.
Oh, I feel this in my root chakra. I feel it in my sacral area. That’s where I tend to feel things. Or I get a constriction in my throat sometimes.
JEN AKS 23:18
Wow. Okay. So it sounds like you’re really deeply aware now of much, much more.
JEN OLIVER 23:24
I think I have a long way to go, mama, for sure. But I’m getting a lot better.
JEN AKS 23:28
I mean, you’re guiding people. You’re this disconnection to reconnection now has now really led you to purpose and also continued growth personally. It sounds like, right? We all are.
We’re all continuing to grow. But I’m curious how you help people with this in your work.
JEN OLIVER 23:45
Yeah. Everything from identifying the chatter and the voices in our head, and then going, okay, wait a minute. I hear all those. What if I could take a breath for a minute and just drop lower?
Get get from the head and get a little lower. Take a breath, listen there.
JEN AKS 24:05
Right.
JEN OLIVER 24:05
Listen to what I’m feeling. Listen to what’s what’s what’s brewing there, slowing down to even notice that movement, whether it’s dancing, stretching, running. One of the things I do when I coach people, I’m like, go move your body. When you’re trying to create content and create your talk, or you’re trying to come up with an idea, step away from the laptop and go move your body.
And that’s when the creativity and the ideas and the wisdom starts to flow, the truer stuff. So I coach people in all kinds of manner because every person is different too. So I coach them to find what is true for you. For some, it’s using their hands to write, to paint, to sketch, to color, because the hand to brain, as you know and teach, the hand to brain connection is so profound.
JEN AKS 24:56
Yeah. Well, I love that. And I really, oh, sorry, were you gonna say something?
JEN OLIVER 25:00
No, no.
JEN AKS 25:01
I love the visual, sort of like I don’t know, when you were saying that, you know, you start in your head and then you coach them to drop into that heart center and then or throat, I think you said, and then down into your heart. And I’m almost like seeing an elevator, like this breath, right? Just like dropping lower and lower. Do you ever do that?
JEN OLIVER 25:21
Yeah, yeah. I’ll start, I’ll do it both ways. So I’ll drop them lower and lower and lower. And then recently I was in a coaching, I was coaching one of my speakers, and she said, you know, I’m so throttled the minute I step off a stage, I’m a more introspective, introverted person.
And that takes everything out of me. And then I’ve got to go, once having delivered my speech, to go to the lobby and engage with people and feel connected. So we actually worked from her toes up to start to feel into her feet, then her legs, then her calves, because she doesn’t have the luxury of going back and taking a nap in an environment like that. She needs to be on.
So, how could we help her recharge her battery so that she could go and be really present with the people from the audience who now want to meet her after giving her talk? So we started from the bottom up and just started building and recharging and connecting her. And it was all about feeling, feel your toes, feel your legs, what muscles are contracting and moving as you’re walking through backstage as they’re taking, they’re removing your mics and getting you like freed up from all your technology so that you can walk out. Where’s your breath?
You know, we just start doing stuff like that because it doesn’t take much to get back into our body if we take a beat and do it.
JEN AKS 26:35
Yeah, yeah, I love that. You know, speaking about the body and the wisdom within and how it really can be such an asset for leadership. And you’re such a perfect example of that because you clearly have taken your life journey and again that disconnection to reconnection, and now empowering people and giving them the tools to listen and follow. I’m just wondering about your perspective around that.
Just like, you know, we’re really trying to empower people with emotional, kinesthetic, and somatic intelligence on this podcast and really trying to awaken this knowledge that we are so wise and we have so much capability within us. And, you know, I I talk about my story of struggle and disconnection because I didn’t think I was smart when I was younger. And then sort of how I came back into my knowing and my connection and how it has really served me because now I’m doing the work that I’m doing. And I want people so desperately to understand that they have this innate wisdom that is meant for them.
And so, and specifically to lead, to lead their their children, like you, you know, the the things that you’re doing, you’re such an example to your children that you’re standing in your voice and your truth to say, these are the kind of relationships I want. This is the life I want. I’m I have a no uh non-negotiable, no lying this year. Like you’re doing the thing and you’re leading so beautifully.
So I’m just curious if you can speak to that leadership piece.
JEN OLIVER 28:00
Yeah, it’s so funny. So I was inspired to do the year of no lies by Martha Beck in her book, The Way of Integrity. Okay.
[FIRE ALARM ANNOUNCEMENT 28:08]
Yeah.
JEN OLIVER 28:09
And I was re-listening to the last chapter of that book, and she was talking about a profound change for humanity. And that this can go viral, this can spread in in like can like contagion, like COVID did. But let’s put it on the positive side. That the the way we show up, these types of mind shifts and behavior shifts, the ones you’re advocating, the ones I’m advocating, can create a groundswell that I believe without question is like what Martha Beck described.
There is going to be a wholesale shift in humanity as more and more of us embrace. Oh, this is the way we can operate. This is the way I can show up in the world. This is the way we can live and speak and connect with other people with our truth.
This is the way I can be embodied as long as I’m here in this human body. This is the way I can re um respond and engage with other people. So I to your question, I really see this as a groundswell, a movement. You and I attack it from a little bit different um angles, but there isn’t a doubt in my mind it will shift.
It is shifting things. It’s not even an it will, it already is shifting things because it is contagious, it’s infectious. I love that showing other people too what is possible. I always say, may your voice, may your may what you bring into the world offer other people invitation and permission for something so wonderful.
And and so that’s what I see us doing and unwittingly affecting other people in the process. People will never meet. I sense that too. I sense that so fully.
JEN AKS 30:09
You spoke about how we come at it from different angles. I’d love for you to talk about your angle.
JEN OLIVER 30:15
My angle is first, it’s flipping everything upside down. So a lot of people think when it comes to speaking, communication, presence, there’s all these external factors, how you show up, what do you do with your hands? What do you do with your eye contact? How is your voice?
What is the way you stand and command a stage? Okay, I’d like to set all that aside because I actually think that’s about maybe 20% of a skill set and polishing and refining. And that 80% is the inside job. How are you so connected to your essential self that you know yourself so well that then you listen to yourself more deeply, you understand what you’re hearing, and when you go to express yourself, when you go to have the conversation or go to deliver the talking points, it is you bringing a more whole person to that exchange because people feel that energetically.
Whereas as human beings, we want to resonate with each other, we want to connect, we want to build community, we want to feel unity. I believe when we are dropped in in that way and showing up, doing the work of finding our essential self, getting really comfortable with that person we find, and showing up and allowing that to animate our words, that to inform what we say, how we behave, what we do, it changes everything. I do this kind of inside out focused as opposed to external performative, yeah, cosmetic fixes.
JEN AKS 31:53
Yeah, absolutely. So you’re someone that sees a lot of speakers because you sit on the board of the TEDx Folsom, you run all these workshops, you train all of these speakers. I’m curious, like, what is that difference? I mean, can you give an example of someone?
You don’t have to give any names or anything, but like someone that takes the stage and really embodies and then the the reaction and the response to that versus someone that is just stuck in their mind.
JEN OLIVER 32:22
Okay, so everyone should look at your TEDx talk. It’s actually, and I’m not saying that I you’re on my you’re on my playlist that I promote to all of the people in my cohorts uh because you do that beautifully, Jen. So shameless plug, but yes, you do.
JEN AKS 32:38
Well, I appreciate you. I’m curious why. I mean, forget it’s me, but it is me, which is great. I would have asked this of the example of anybody else.
JEN OLIVER 32:46
You felt so deeply connected, not just to the gift of your idea that you wanted to give the audience, but you want you were connected to yourself. You even remember you changed your clothes. Yeah, you’re this one thing, and then you went, I’m wearing jeans and I’m going barefoot. And I’m like, girl, yes to that.
JEN AKS 33:09
You said, Fuck yeah.
JEN OLIVER 33:11
Yeah, I did. I’m like, get on that red dot with your cute little toes. Like, um, yes. I and and then the way you were, I felt the way you wanted to connect with the audience, and that’s hard to do from a stage where you got bright lights, you can barely see the audience, and you’re such a connective person anyway.
It was just beautiful, and and so it was the way you showed up, the self-assuredness you felt that there was a leaning into you knew what you felt, you knew your truth, you knew what you wanted for them, for them to have as a takeaway. And that just poured out of you in a really organic, lovely fashion. It just felt really good. And not, I mean, yes, you were also like, I we wanted to look good, you wanted to sound good, you wanted to have your words right, of course.
Like I said, that’s the 20% we write too.
[FIRE ALARM ANNOUNCEMENT 34:06]
Right, right.
JEN OLIVER 34:07
But you really did also, I sensed you wanted it to feel real and and not just perfected, impressive. I always say I want to coach speakers who are determined to have impact over just being impressive, right? That’s beautiful, and and by virtue of being of impact, you’re impressive, right?
JEN AKS 34:34
Right. Yeah, I see you’re flipping that, which is great. Yeah, some people want to be impressive, they don’t understand the impact part. But if we do the impact, then the impressive is just a result.
JEN OLIVER 34:44
And let me give you one more example. Okay, one of my speakers from season two, Brooke Wineland, she had a killer talk on AI and um how AI can be used for good, right? She’s this quirky, looks like a gorgeous Barbie doll, the most wonderful, beautiful young woman, um, super quirky, a software engineer. She’s a freaking genius.
And she was, she had her talk, but she was also battling energy and nerves, like so many do. And so we were teaching her, okay, again, in those moments where you’re not sure what you’re gonna say next or you lose your words, get out of your head, drop into your bike because that girl, she can be in her head, and her thoughts are moving so fast, yeah, she can barely keep up with them. She’s so dang smart.
JEN AKS 35:31
So, how does she drop into her body in like the middle of a talk?
JEN OLIVER 35:34
Right. She would she um we taught her feel into your body, and do you know what feel into her body looked like for her? She would go like this.
JEN AKS 35:43
Oh my god.
JEN OLIVER 35:44
So, for those of you that are not shoulders like this, yeah, she’s shaking her head, she’s shaking her shoulders, yeah, shaking her shoulders on the stage. It’s so awesome, and it’s so her. And you see her do it in the talk, and it’s like it’s quirky and true and real and her, and you and she goes, What more do I want to tell you?
JEN AKS 36:05
Oh my god.
JEN OLIVER 36:07
Oh, that’s right, you guys, and then she’d go like this so real, like you just went, This is such a real person with real feelings, and the audience, you know, audiences lean into that. Yeah, they don’t love screenwriters in Hollywood have taught us this. Screenwriters will never write a perfect character, they always have to put in a flaw because they realize audiences do not like a perfect character and they’ll root against them. But if they have a flaw, they lean in and they’re rooting for them.
JEN AKS 36:39
Oh my gosh. Well, this is with us. That is what I was gonna say. Like, this is a very important point to highlight for people that the mess is is perfect.
Like, in my opinion, there’s no perfection. There’s no perfect. I don’t even strive for it. I don’t even want it.
I like messy, I like spontaneous, I like flow, whatever shows up. Yeah, and that is such a beautiful example. If we can all embody that, if we make a goof in whatever we’re doing, whether we’re teachers or we’re parenting, you know. I had a I had an interesting experience recently.
I’m sort of parenting my son through this moment, and I said to him, I don’t know if I’m doing this right. Okay, I’m really not sure. I’m trying, and I’m sorry if I sound confused because I kind of am. And like, I don’t know, and I might like sound weak and I feel like I should know all the answers, but the truth is I’m not sure.
So bear with me, kind of thing. And I my whole body, I felt great in saying that. And I was also like, Oh, this is not what society says. You should have all the answers, you should be perfect, you should, but I was like, fuck it.
JEN OLIVER 37:46
Well, and I love your candor with that. Can you imagine how beautiful that would be to have more people going, I don’t even know, but I’m doing the best I can and let’s figure it out together. And I mean, can you imagine what would change? But you know, we often I get it, I say it with no condemnation, I say it with compassion.
Some of us are in such a protective mode, yeah, and that feels so unwieldy.
JEN AKS 38:16
Again, it’s so natural and it’s part of the human experience. And we have to get uncomfortable to figure out what comfort feels like and what we’re aligned with. So we got to go through all of it. I love your journey and I love the example that you’re setting forth on all levels.
And that can you say the um commitment to yourself one more time? It’s so beautiful.
JEN OLIVER 38:40
The commitment that I will not tell any lies this year, that one.
JEN AKS 38:43
Yeah, yeah. I mean, if we can walk away with that, right? Just staying true, really what that means, right? Is staying true to your body, staying true to the intuitive nudges, listening to those nudges, it is not just a feeling, it is data.
Okay. It is data. And there is so much information, so much research that supports it. So if those of you that are listening are like, okay, I need the data, just reach out to me because I’m happy to share it with you.
Because this podcast is all about awakening that power from within and helping people really understand the power of it, to listen to it and be led by it in every aspect of their life. And you’re doing that so beautifully. So I applaud you. Thank you, Jess.
JEN OLIVER 39:26
You you are a master at it because really what you’re saying, as you just said all that, I thought that is also the way towards integrity and truth is listening and honoring our body. That’s also not lying, right? We’re committing to a year of no lies. It’s not just about, oh, I lied, I took $20 instead of 40, you know, from the the cashier.
No, that’s that’s the least of it. The lies are are not listening to our own body or denying what our body’s telling us.
JEN AKS 39:55
Exactly. And that’s what you’re doing. Yeah, which is so great. I mean, Jen, tell people please where you are, how they can reach you.
Jen, I experienced Jen. I just want you to know, as my one of my speaking coaches, and um, she she is incredible. I mean, I’m sure you know at this point because we’ve already been together now, over 30 minutes, and she’s phenomenal and can guide you and connect you with yourself, with your voice, with your authentic purpose. So, Jen, tell us.
JEN OLIVER 40:24
Oh, I love that. Thank you, Jen. I can be found at realjenoliver.com. So that’s easy.
And in my handles, too. IG is real Jen Oliver, LinkedIn, Jen Oliver. There you go.
JEN AKS 40:39
I love it. And I was a guest on your podcast. Yes, the real the real, right?
JEN OLIVER 40:45
Listen for real.
JEN AKS 40:46
Listen for real for real. And that one, wow, did I cry my eyes out? I think on that one.
JEN OLIVER 40:51
Oh, it was so beautiful what you gave. I can’t wait for them to hear it. It was so moving and beautiful. And talk about offering people liberation.
That’s what you were doing uh with everything you shared, which was so deeply personal. You offered something so deeply personal.
JEN AKS 41:10
Yeah.
JEN OLIVER 41:10
Um, y’all gotta hear it. It’s uh it’s beautiful.
JEN AKS 41:13
When’s it coming out? Next month or something, you said.
JEN OLIVER 41:16
Um, no, uh, probably in the next. Let’s see. So, right now we’re recording in uh end of February. So it’ll be first week of March.
JEN AKS 41:23
Wow. Okay. So, listeners, if this is past that date, please go back and listen to it because you’ll get a real sense of Jen. And wow, I mean, there I don’t even know why I just said that.
I mean, my heart was really on my sleeve, but that’s okay. It was um um, thank you all. Thank you, Jen. Thank you, everyone, for being here on the Wisdom from Within podcast, where human stories awaken your innate leader, leadership within you.
We need your voice, we need you. Listen to your body. We are so ready for you. Thank you, thank you.
See you next week. Yes, yeah.