JEN AKS 0:00
Okay, this conversation is fantastic. Jim Morris — he calls himself an architect of impact and human connection. What does that mean? That means so much. This man embodies what our world needs from the leaders within it, from all of us. What it is to truly create human connection and lead from that place and create impact. He has designed his life around this mission. He empowers people to do the same. He's an incredible speaker. He's an incredible leader. And what I appreciate most about him is that he is so vulnerable — vulnerable in his story, vulnerable in the lessons — so that he can impact you and awaken you.
I'm telling you, this conversation is fantastic. Listen to the end because it grows, it expands, it gets better and better. Please share this episode with someone you feel needs this message, because it's a profound one. All right, let's get started.
Welcome to the Wisdom From Within podcast. My name is Jen Aks, and I am your host. This is where mindset meets bodyset, where we access both so that we can make the most genuine, authentic, empowered impact on those we love and those we serve. Let's get started.
You know leadership presence in this world. And I love that you call yourself an architect of impact and human connection. I want to know what that means. Welcome, welcome, welcome, Jim. Appreciate you.
JIM MORRIS 2:08
Thank you. I'm grateful to be here. I appreciate the opportunity.
JEN AKS 2:11
Yeah.
JIM MORRIS 2:12
For me, impact has two opportunities to affect others. The first is to affect them in a negative way, and the second is to affect them in a positive way. I don't believe our words, our actions, the things we do have neutrality. Someone is perceived, someone is judged, someone is analyzed based on the emotions being felt from what they've said to you, what they've done, what they plan on doing. And I've learned over time that your words matter, your actions matter. If we can just take one step back — in a world where we're positioned to rush, positioned to do things at the highest speed — and just think about the impact of the things we do or say. By architecting that opportunity, I do that in many different ways, but first within myself. Nobody's perfect, and I'm far from it, and I make plenty of mistakes. But if I can show up with integrity, own those things, and really center into the person rather than the thing or the strategy or the plan — then my goal is to impact people in a positive way.
JEN AKS 3:50
I love that so much. You said you do that for yourself first — you architect your experiences. Can you give us an example of what that looks like?
JIM MORRIS 4:04
So I had a conference about two years ago, and I was a little frustrated with someone I was working with. They came to speak, they had a great audience, and they ended up doing a great speech. But the lead-up, the commitment, the integrity, the time that was brokered to market the event and position it to impact the most people possible — it was lacking on their end. And it was contractual. There was an agreement, line items eight, nine, ten.
And I was frustrated. And I had to sit with myself before I made the phone call and put myself in their shoes. It sounds cliché, but oftentimes we're living up here rather than right here in our heart. And I said, well, it seems out of character — maybe there's a reason. So let me remove my emotion and start the call with: what do you need? How can I help you?
And in that first 15 seconds, they informed me they were going through a divorce. And again — thinking of me first — my reaction was: okay, everybody's going through something, but you still didn't do the things I paid you a lot of money to do. And I had to hold and reclaim myself, because I wanted to provide a positive experience, positive impact. So that initial reaction wasn't, okay, I understand, what about me? It was: let's talk about you in this moment. Let's shift the conversation from 30 minutes of me to 20 minutes of you. And then let's talk about how I can help you accomplish those goals.
I think we face these moments when we connect with people, work with people, contract people — where we forget that they're human as well. We forget to ask questions. And it usually happens when money's exchanged and there are pieces of paper that outline expectations. But what I've learned is: if I can just pause, truly put myself in their shoes, and ask questions — what starts to happen is I start to practice what I call compassionate curiosity. It's not just rambling or asking questions or using scripts. It's actively listening, actively putting yourself in their position — to then bring compassion to your curiosity.
JEN AKS 7:34
I love this and I appreciate this so much. Because part of what I teach is all about emotional intelligence — the five pillars of emotional intelligence — and how essential that is for leadership. Not just in the corporate world, but as parents, as anyone influencing another human being. And to influence deeply and make real impact — like you're saying — that emotional piece needs to be there. That awareness needs to be there. And I love that and I appreciate you, because that is not out there nearly enough.
So I'm curious: when she told you in the first 15 seconds that she was going through a divorce — how is that transition? You're establishing trust in that moment. And then they're going to perform for you and provide what you need, so much greater, because of this piece you're providing first. What goes through your mind when you're holding both at once?
JIM MORRIS 9:01
Well, I think when you set an expectation for a phone call, you're kind of setting yourself up for failure. Because we are humans, and perception changes. And different people hear certain things differently. I think it really goes back to having a foundation of reminding myself that I'm a human and they're a human. What does that human need in this moment? And removing the pressure of having the perfect words or the perfect question scenarios.
I think back — until I was about 28, I was such a nervous, anxiety-driven person that I would ask a question and then, as someone would start to answer it, I'd cut them off and start talking again. And when I realized that the deep root of that was because I didn't love and trust myself — I realized it was just a trigger. Being uncomfortable. Feeling like I had to talk, had to navigate every conversation, had to control every interaction.
And once I started to love myself and trust myself, I was in that position where I may not know what to say in that moment. I may need to take a deep breath, pause, and gather my thoughts. Not rushing through the transition is extremely important. Understanding and knowing that you have self-love, that you are a smart person, that you are on this call to provide good and positive impact — has really allowed me to sit back and be okay with a 10-second pause. Thinking without speaking first.
JEN AKS 11:08
This is so good. I really love this so much. You said up until your 20s you had this anxiety — and I so get that, and I think so many people feel that way. How did you make that transition? What came into your life that made you say, this needs to shift?
JIM MORRIS 11:30
One of the reasons I love keynote speaking, and why I throw so many events every year, is because I was at a conference in Long Beach, California. I had heard a podcast with Ed Milette and Brad Lee five years prior to that event, and Brad Lee had talked about how you need to love yourself in order to love others at a high level. And I brushed it off. It didn't mean much to me in the moment. But when I heard him say it again from stage, I was in a different season of my life.
And I realized I didn't like what I saw in the mirror. I had a sticky note on my mirror for probably 10 years in my bathroom — a little off-center to the right — that said: do what 90% of people don't normally do. It was my little mantra, my recentering. But what I realized was every time I looked in the mirror, I didn't want to look at myself. That sticky note was actually a deflection. An excuse for me not to look at myself, because I didn't love what I saw. There was always something pulling at me to be better, to grow, to face some of the demons, some of the fears, some of the things I wasn't proud of.
So when I heard Brad Lee say that again in that season, I sat down after his speech and I started to write in my phone: Ellie will be like — dot, dot, dot. Ellie was my daughter, my first child, who I was having in about 40 or 50 days. And I started to write down all these things. Ellie will be like someone who eats healthy. Ellie will be like someone who gives the shirt off her back if she has another shirt at home. Ellie will be like someone who lives with high levels of integrity. Ellie will be like someone who shows up and loves on others in the moment that they need it most.
And I went through and wrote down probably 60 or 70 Ellie will be likes. And I started to read through them — and I started to cry. Because I wasn't half of the things I wanted my daughter to be like.
So I leave the conference shattered. I have no interest in listening to the rest of the speakers. Someone's like, dude, you're leaving before Eric Thomas speaks. And I was like, I got what I needed in that moment.
Fast forward — I'm walking down the street in Long Beach, no idea where I am, reading these Ellie will be likes, adding to them, pouring tears. I'm 6'5, 230 pounds, in a full suit, walking through dark streets, not the best neighborhood. I could hear people arguing across the street. And I was hungry. So I turn and look over, and there is a little Italian restaurant called Ellie's. It's packed. There's a line outside, all the patio seating, everybody. I walk up: table for one, still crying. She says it's going to be an hour. And I sit on the curb. I say: I will sit here as long as I need. I will eat this food. This is clearly meant to be. I pull up my phone, go back to that list — and I hear, Jim, your table's ready. I sit down, order pasta, and I can only imagine what everybody else was seeing. A guy pouring tears into his pasta, eating by himself. And it was the most impactful moment in my life. Because I started the journey to love myself. I started the journey to trust myself. I started the journey to really become a better person so I could help navigate life and work with other people — in hopes that they'd love themselves. Because I knew I could never follow my dreams at that point in time. And I was going to start — so that my daughter, my kids, my wife would look at me and say: Daddy followed his dreams. I want to follow mine.
JEN AKS 16:58
Wow. That is gorgeous. Have you told that story from stage many times?
JIM MORRIS 17:04
A couple of times, yeah.
JEN AKS 17:06
It's so good. And you tell it so well — obviously, because it's your story. Incredibly beautiful, incredibly courageous of you to pay attention. So many of us don't pay attention. We ignore what we're feeling. And my work is about the body's intelligence — being able to listen and navigate the signals and the nudges, and understand that it's all wise and intelligent and can be our guiding light if we choose to listen. And you chose to listen. And look where it took you. And then it took you to this divine intervention — the restaurant called Ellie's. That's just so incredibly divine. And I'm curious: what happened after that? What was that season of falling in love with yourself? Was it hard? Were there ebbs and flows? Where are you now?
JIM MORRIS 18:17
Totally, totally. One — I quit drinking the next day, and I haven't had a beverage in almost four years.
JEN AKS 18:26
Congratulations.
JIM MORRIS 18:27
So that was the first step. I did not want to be in a position where I wasn't living at my highest capacity. And I'm totally cool with people drinking, totally cool being around it. I just know myself. And part of knowing myself was taking action and integrating what I know works for me.
You talked about the body. I grew up my whole life having sweaty palms — so badly that when I was in college taking paper tests, my hand would rip the paper. It would be soaked. I was so embarrassed I even got Botox in my hands. Doctor recommended, by the way — 88 needles with no numbing agent in each hand. That was the solution when I told them I didn't want anxiety medication. My parents unfortunately got addicted to OxyContin when I was 14, so pills for me were out of the question.
But when I made that decision to love myself, when I made that decision to trust myself — I never had sweaty palms again. Now, if I'm in an extremely high-stress situation, yeah, my body will respond. That's natural. But I wake up and my palms are dry. And when I say sweaty palms, I don't mean damp. I mean I could hold my fingers like this and sweat would drip off of them.
JEN AKS 21:05
Wait — so this went on from youth all the way through? Because deciding to love yourself didn't come until how old?
JIM MORRIS 21:15
Yeah. I was 32.
JEN AKS 21:20
Wow. So you had that your entire life — sweaty palms, all of that — and then the moment you chose to love yourself, just four years ago, it stopped?
JIM MORRIS 21:30
Four years ago.
JEN AKS 21:31
That is unbelievable. What does that say about the body, the mind, the connection, the intelligence? How do you interpret that?
JIM MORRIS 21:41
For me, it's a direct correlation. I tried Botox once and realized I didn't want 88 needles in my hand every two months. And when I started to love myself — part of that was doing things more natural to me. Being my aligned self. Being my goofy self. Wearing my scally cap in Nashville, Tennessee, where no one really wears those. Going back to the realization that in order to love myself, I need to be myself. And being myself will attract the people that are supposed to be in my life.
When I moved to Boston at 28, I threw the scally cap in a box. People don't do this. I don't know anybody. But at 32, I started wearing it again. On stages, on podcasts. And it wasn't just the material things — it was cracking jokes, not having to have all the answers, asking questions rather than dictating solutions, speaking later in a conversation rather than first. Really trusting that I'm supposed to be in these rooms, on these stages, on these podcasts. So let me just be me.
And the best part about the whole transformation, Jen, was the fact that when I made these decisions, I lost a lot of friends. But what I realized through losing friends, losing business contracts, losing relationships — was that those people were never attracted to the true Jim Morris who loved himself. They were attracted to the image I tried to be, the person I tried to portray. So anybody going through massive transformation: when you make the decisions to truly align with who you are and take the risks and do the things you want to do because it is you — that period of transformation will be hard. Because the people you think are close to you may not be attracted to the real you. They may have been attracted to the image.
JEN AKS 24:41
Yeah.
JIM MORRIS 24:42
So it's not all, hey, Jim decided to love himself and the world opened up and everything was great. There was a transformation period where it was a little dark. But I knew I wanted to show up as myself. And the best version of me would be full alignment — in order to be the best version for my kids and my wife.
JEN AKS 25:04
That is one of the pillars of emotional intelligence — self-awareness. That's first. Having that level of self-awareness and then being able to lean into the regulation of our emotions and what we're doing and feeling — which then allows us to be present. That's pillar number three, which is what you speak about. You hit on all five pillars, truly.
That presence and pause — not just for other people, to listen and say, hey, what's going on for you, how can I support you — but that presence and pause for yourself first. And that's what you did. And then what came alive for you is that fourth pillar: motivation. That excitement about who am I and how do I live and lead and create impact. And then the fifth: being able to get out there in the world and lead and do your thing.
I don't know if you're aware, but you really embody these five pillars so beautifully. And I wonder — clearly it's impacted your business — but it's gotta feel so grounding for you. Being in your body, knowing yourself, having moved through that transformation, and now on stage leading in a whole different way.
JIM MORRIS 26:49
100%. You've got to do the work, you've got to integrate, you've got to have gratitude through the process, self-awareness. But I also think it doesn't just come without having someone around you who allows you to navigate the hard times. To have your people. To have the person you can call at 3 a.m. when you're struggling with something.
In my TED talk, I talk about everybody should get themselves a Steve.
JEN AKS 27:30
Oh, is that your person?
JIM MORRIS 27:32
Steve has been my best friend since sixth grade. We're born on the same day, the same year. And in those times where you feel the world crumbling, it's not something — it's truly someone.
There have been plenty of times I've called Steve. When I had my first big conference — literally every liquid dollar, $240,000 on the line, no idea what I was doing, sales team quit, marketing manager quit. Direct correlation to my stress, my unknowing of what I was doing, and I own all that. I called Steve. I was just recently married, we just had our daughter. I thought I was messing up my entire life. And Steve was the one to remind me of every time my back's been against the wall — I've survived, I've navigated through it. He gave me the pep talk. And I went and sold 250 conference tickets myself in 31 days. Did I hit the goal of 700? No. But we got 356 people in the room. It was an amazing conference, the best investment I've made to date. It really allowed me to jumpstart the process of who I wanted to be and how I wanted to impact people.
And that's where my event company, Impact Effect, came from. That's where the podcast is named from. It was that first conference — the streamline of everything I do, how I show up, and how I want to impact others. And none of that would have happened if Steve wasn't my someone when I needed it most.
JEN AKS 30:01
Oh my gosh. I'm so moved by you and your vulnerability and your self-inquiry. It is so beautiful, and such an example. Because this is what the world needs. And this is exactly what I'm trying to unlock for people on this podcast. We so often turn away from ourselves, turn away from the truth of who we are, from the experiences we've lived because they're too painful. And the truth is: there are so many lessons. It's about unlocking all of that and being brave enough — like you were — to really pay attention and allow that wisdom from within to guide you. And look where it took you. Divine intervention with a restaurant called Ellie's. That's just so incredibly reassuring.
And I'm just so grateful for your story, and for what you're doing in the world — showing up as this leader. Not just in corporate or entrepreneurial spaces, but as parents, as humans, as coaches, as human beings walking this earth side by side. Being able to stop and say: how are you? What can I do for you? What do you need? That's where it all begins.
JIM MORRIS 31:34
Totally, totally. And I'll leave you with one last thing about Steve.
JEN AKS 31:40
Yes, please. I love Steve.
JIM MORRIS 31:43
Steve lives in Boston. Obviously I'm in Nashville. And Steve was navigating some things, not living to his capacity, struggling with some old habits. And I felt that I needed to repay Steve — I needed to be his Jim. So Steve moved in with me two weeks ago here in Nashville. He's working for me at Human Touch Publishing. And my one-and-a-half-year-old, when we come home after the work day, says Steve. He doesn't even say daddy — he's like Steve, Steve, Steve.
So not only is Steve continuing to impact me and my family, but now I have the opportunity to get him more aligned with who he truly wants to be, and help him when he needs it most in this moment today.
So it's not just all the things I've received. It's doing the things I've learned and taking those opportunities to help other people when they need it most. I really want your audience to hear this: we've got to be looking for the opportunity to help others as well. In a lot of cases, I didn't want to ask for help. And when I finally did reach out to Steve, it was like God smacked me across the head.
I was driving from Boston to York Beach, Maine for a family vacation. My daughter fell asleep in the backseat. My wife laid down in the backseat — she never does that. So I'm driving to Maine alone, thinking about the conference, the money I was about to lose, how people quit, how I wasn't being my best version of myself. And I was asking God: what do I do? What do I need to do?
And I look up — I promise you — and on an overpass, in styrofoam cups in the fence, it says: ask for help. No way. Ask for help. And at that time I'm like, did I just make that up in my mind? So I counted another 46 overpasses we went by. Not one sign on any of them. And yeah — when I see that, when I tell that story, I realize how much it pushed me to ask for help.
There are two people: the Jim before seeing that sign, who was hoping someone would just come to him — and the Jim after, who realized he needed to ask. And I think most people are the first Jim.
So a lot of times when I connect with someone — when I get on a call, have a cup of coffee, or someone makes an introduction — the first question I ask is: what do you need? What do you need help with? How can I serve you? What are you trying to accomplish? What's your dream? And what do you need to get to the next stage within that dream? How can I be the person that positions myself to ask those questions with compassion and curiosity — so they can tell me what they need, so they realize they can ask me for help?
JEN AKS 37:11
That's beautiful. I love that positioning — that intention. Knowing that they might not ask for help because many people don't — they see it as weakness. And then you get ahead of that to ask the question so they share what they need. That is so intentional and so beautiful. And I hope people really catch that, because that's a big one. So I appreciate you, Jim. I appreciate you for the work that you are doing in this world, showing up as you are. It's been such an honor to have you here. Thank you for your story, thank you for your vulnerability, thank you for your presence.
JIM MORRIS 38:03
Thank you for having me. And thank you for the opportunity to speak to your audience. I love what you're doing with the show.
JEN AKS 38:10
Oh, thank you.
JIM MORRIS 38:12
I really appreciate it.
JEN AKS 38:13
Yeah — tell us quick before we go: where can people find you and what are you up to?
JIM MORRIS 38:20
Yeah — check out realjimmorris.com. That's where you can find me. Jim Morris on LinkedIn — let's connect. Always loving the conversations that happen in the messaging and loving on people's content. And then Real Jim Morris on Instagram, Jim Morris on Facebook. Let's connect. Let's build a relationship.
JEN AKS 38:47
Love it. Okay, everybody — I'll see you next week on the Wisdom From Within podcast, where human stories awaken the leader from within. Okay, see you next week. Take care.
If something in this conversation spoke to you, don't keep it to yourself. Send it to someone who might need that message too. You can also send me a comment because I would love to know what it is that landed for you. But most importantly, take a moment to pause and listen to what it is that resonated — because that's where your real guidance system lives. The one you can trust. The one you can rely on. See you next week.